A Man, A Plan, A Canal

The plan is pretty simple. I’m going to become a complete lemming to the whims and demands of Facebook. The Suggestions area will be my Rosetta stone, teaching me all there is to know about the wonders and secrets I’ve yet to unlock. I will be the envy and wonder of all my peers – all those who friend me will bow down to the SUPREME RULER OF THE FACEBOOK UNIVERSE. I will have one utterly random and cluttered profile that will make no sense.

After doing some research, my Google-fu has found that half the users of Facebook log into their accounts once a day. So that will be rule one:
Log in to my Facebook page once a day.

Further probing has found that the average person spends approximately 50 minutes on the site per day. Whoa Nelly! That seems a little steep. If I spend that much time following the Suggestions that Facebook offers, surely it will run out of good advice any advice in about two days, right? Ok rule two:
I will follow through on four (4) suggestions offered by Facebook each day.

I think that’s the extent of my idea. From there I’ll just let the hilarity develop and happen on it’s own. Oh – how long am I going to do this? Well, let’s aim for a year. Why? That’s what all the cool kids seem to do – A Year without ‘Made in China’, A Year Living the Bible, ‘Not Buying It’ – My Year without Shopping, The Year I Stopped Drinking Liquid and Eating Solids (incomplete). Will I make it that far? Who knows. I don’t even know if Facebook can suggest things for that long – maybe I’ll reach the end of the Internet and can call it a day around July 26th.

And contrary to suggestions otherwise, I’m going to use my “regular” Facebook profile for this. Some friends suggested a pseudonym but I don’t think that would be authentic. If Facebook wants me to friend someone, it’s probably because I know them and if I use some random name, well then I probably won’t get any return love and then the whole thing could collapse on itself. Then I thought of creating an alternative identity with my same name, but that seemed like too much effort and probably against some “Terms and Conditions” somewhere. So I’m going to defecate all over my real profile – huzzah! Farmtown here I come.